If you’ve recently had a baby and you’re feeling a little off, more tired than you imagined, more emotional than you expected, and more unsure about what your body and baby need please know you are not alone.
Postpartum is not just a phase, it’s a full body experience. It can come with a beautiful kind of love, but also physical discomfort, sleep deprivation, and waves of anxiety that hit without warning. There’s pressure to “bounce back” and figure it all out quickly, but the truth is: healing takes time. So does learning your baby, learning yourself as a parent, and finding your rhythm.
One gentle, research backed practice that can support both you and your baby through this sensitive time is infant massage.
What Postpartum Really Feels Like
After childbirth, your body is recovering, your hormones are shifting, and your mind may be spinning. You might feel joy one minute and tears the next. You might be adjusting to breastfeeding or pumping. You might be experiencing perineal soreness, or recovering from a C-section. And then, there's sleep or the lack of it.
You are learning a brand new human, and at the same time, navigating your own new identity.
For many parents, this can feel overwhelming. It’s okay to say it out loud. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby. It means you’re human.
How Infant Massage Supports the Postpartum Parent
Infant massage is often thought of as something just for babies, a way to soothe colic or help with digestion. And yes, it does support those things. But I’ve seen first hand how infant massage is just as healing for the parent.
Here’s how:
1. It strengthens your bond with your baby.
Touch is one of the earliest forms of communication between parent and child. When you learn how to massage your baby, you learn how to read their cues, respond to their needs, and build trust. This intentional time together fosters connection and attachment especially helpful if bonding hasn’t come easily.
2. It gives you something to feel confident about.
Many parents share that they feel unsure or even afraid in the early days not knowing how to soothe their baby or feel in control. Infant massage is a skill you can learn and apply right away. It helps you feel empowered in your parenting journey.
3. It encourages relaxation for both of you.
The gentle rhythm of massage, combined with your baby’s coos and cues, creates a calming environment. Oxytocin, the “love hormone” increases during massage, helping both you and your baby feel more at ease.
4. It helps with postpartum anxiety and depression.
While infant massage isn’t a cure for postpartum depression or anxiety, it can be a powerful part of your wellness toolbox. The intentional time, the bonding, the touch it all supports emotional regulation. Many parents find that incorporating infant massage into their routine gives them moments of peace and presence in the chaos of newborn life.
5. It promotes physical recovery.
Postpartum recovery can feel disconnected from your baby, you may be healing while still pouring everything into your child. Engaging in infant massage allows you to slow down, sit still, and be present. For parents who had a physically difficult birth, this practice also encourages mindfulness and grounding.
What It Looks Like in Practice
Infant massage doesn’t require special oils or fancy props. You don’t have to do it for an hour or know everything perfectly. It’s about learning a few simple strokes and incorporating them into your daily routine after a bath, before bed, or whenever your baby is calm and alert.
Massage can help ease gas and constipation, support sleep, and regulate your baby’s nervous system. But most importantly, it gives you time together, focused time where your baby feels your love, and you feel their trust.
It’s Okay If You Don’t Feel Okay
So many parents tell me they feel like they’re “supposed” to be happy. But the truth is, postpartum is hard. It’s okay to grieve the version of yourself that you’ve left behind. It’s okay to feel frustrated, exhausted, and touched out.
But in the small, quiet moments like a gentle hand on your baby’s belly, or the way their fingers curl around yours, you are reminded of your power. You are reminded that love is not always loud or grand. Sometimes, it’s in the quiet connection.
Community Matters
Whether you’re a brand new parent or you’ve done this before, know that support makes all the difference. I’ve worked with parents from all backgrounds, and the one thing they all say is how helpful it is to have a community, a circle, or even just one trusted person who helps them feel seen and supported.
If you’re interested in learning infant massage, look for local classes, community groups, or certified instructors in your area. Many offer virtual sessions as well. And if you’re struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety, please reach out for professional support. You are not meant to do this alone.
Final Thoughts
Infant massage is a gentle, accessible, and powerful way to support both you and your baby in the postpartum period. It’s not just about calming your baby, it’s about calming your nervous system, deepening your connection, and reminding yourself that you are capable.
You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to show up one loving touch at a time.
