The other day, my five-year-old came home from school buzzing. “We played dragons at recess,” she told me. “And Max wanted to be the egg, but I already said I was the egg. So I told him he could be the nest!”
It wasn’t a perfect solution—apparently there was some heated dragon drama on the playground—but it was a small moment that showed me how kids learn to include others while managing big feelings. Inclusivity and emotional intelligence go hand in hand, and both are skills that can be nurtured at home.
Why the Two Belong Together
Emotional intelligence (sometimes called EQ) is the ability to notice, understand, and manage feelings—our own and other people’s. Inclusivity is about making sure everyone feels welcome, valued, and part of the group.
When you put them together, you get magic. A child who can recognize that their friend is sad about being left out has the empathy and vocabulary to invite that friend in. A child who feels secure in their own emotions is more likely to celebrate differences in others. And inclusive environments give kids more chances to practice emotional intelligence in real time.
In other words: inclusivity gives EQ a stage, and EQ gives inclusivity a heart.
The Payoff for Kids (and Families)
When kids develop both skills side by side, the benefits ripple out in all directions. Friendships become stronger because children know how to listen, compromise, and make room for others. Conflict and bullying are less likely to take hold when empathy is part of the daily equation. Kids also gain the confidence to be themselves—when differences are celebrated, they feel safer expressing who they truly are. And as they move through school and beyond, they’re prepared to thrive in a beautifully diverse, interconnected world.
Families feel the payoff too. Sibling spats turn into teachable moments. Dinner conversations become richer when everyone knows their voice matters. There’s a deeper sense of connection that makes the hard days a little easier.
How Parents Can Foster Both
The good news is you don’t need a degree in child psychology to nurture inclusivity and EQ at home. Small, everyday habits add up.
One of the most powerful things you can do is model it yourself. When you greet the grocery cashier warmly, invite a neighbor into conversation, or choose inclusive language to describe families, your children are soaking it all in. Letting them hear you narrate your emotions—“I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take a deep breath before I answer”—shows them that it’s normal to have feelings and healthy to manage them.
Giving kids the actual words for their feelings is another game-changer. Feelings charts, picture books, and role play can make emotions tangible. Ask questions like, “How do you think she feels in this story?” or “What’s your body telling you right now?” The more vocabulary kids have, the more empowered they are to connect with others.
It also helps to celebrate differences in a very matter-of-fact way. Stock your shelves with stories that feature diverse races, abilities, cultures, and family structures, and talk about them openly: “Isn’t it cool how everyone has different traditions?” When difference is normalized and appreciated, inclusivity comes more naturally.
Family traditions can reinforce these values, too. Maybe you have a ritual at dinner where everyone shares a high and low from their day, or you rotate who picks the weekend activity. These small routines send the message that every voice matters.
And don’t forget to practice empathy in action. Role-play scenarios like, “What could we do if someone is sitting alone at recess?” When you catch your child being kind, point it out: “I noticed how you asked your brother if he wanted a turn—that was thoughtful.” Kids learn from your attention as much as your words.
When It Feels Hard
Of course, none of this happens overnight—and no parent gets it right all the time. You might lose patience. Your child might refuse to share. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. Inclusivity and emotional intelligence are muscles we strengthen gradually, not boxes we check off. Even the smallest steps—a conversation in the car, a bedtime story, a repaired sibling fight—are planting seeds.
Inclusivity and emotional intelligence aren’t just nice-to-have extras. They’re essential, intertwined skills that help kids grow into compassionate, confident humans. And the best part? Every little effort you make as a parent, from modeling kindness to celebrating differences, helps your child practice both.
You’re already doing the work just by showing up with love and intention. And that’s something worth celebrating.
