Don't ask me exactly how I fell down this rabbit hole, but I did, and now I can't seem to
claw my way out. I was at the hair salon the other day, stuck in the stylist's chair for nearly three hours. And somehow I stumbled across the wide world of the placenta.
I've heard of celebs cooking up their organ and eating it. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. My mind is blown over some of the things that people make out of their placenta.
Check these out:
The placenta teddy bear
This could be cute, if you were Buffalo Bill from Hannibal Lector. An artist by the name of Alex Green created the Twin Teddy Kit to celebrate the bond between mother, infant, and placenta. The kit requires you to get super crafty with your precious placenta.
You must cut it in half, cure it with sea salt and apply an emulsifying liquid to it before stuffing and stitching your skin-teddy. This placenta project gets a thousand no's from me. This is not crafty nor cute. This is terrifying and gross. Do not do this. Your baby will hate you and probably fear you.
Placenta art
If placenta teddies aren't up your alley, you could always try and pay homage to your life-sustaining organ by using it to decorate your home. For a price, you can send your placenta to an artist who will use it to basically sponge paint a picture for you.
Here's the kicker: no paint is used. Just your own body's blood. Sure, plenty of people choose to paint in blood, but most of them currently reside in a psychiatric ward of sorts.
Listen, you don't need to memorialize your placenta in remembrance of pregnancy and birth. You have a BABY for crying out loud! Let the baby be the keepsake.
Placenta jewelry
For the fashion savvy placenta lovers out there, an abundance of jewelry makers will be more than happy to create a one-of-a-kind necklace for you to wear. Just send your freeze-dried placenta to one of these unique artists, and they will create something that will surely be a conversation starter (or ender) at the next cocktail party you attend.
Check out this Australian designer here. I am all about post baby jewelry, but I was thinking more along the lines of diamonds or pearls – not freeze dried tissue samples.
ParentCo.
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